Today is also the one year anniversary of my first frozen embryo transfer (FET). I can't believe it's been a year. I remember that day like it was yesterday but it does feel so long ago. At the time, I thought for sure that I was going to get pregnant. Of course! Doesn't everyone get pregnant on their first IVF? I feel so badly about that whole transfer. It all went so wrong starting w the OHSS on the fresh cycle where they were created. I knew it at the time too and tried asking my doctor but even after it failed, he wouldn't commit 100% that my lining was a disaster. We also lost 2 embryos that day. One didn't survive the thaw. I was told that the other was so crappy that they just discarded it. It made for a stressful transfer as well being they also called me an hour before asking I hurry up and get there because of the one that was hatching.
So, a little tribute to the first embabies I had put back in me. You can see the one on the left is hatching. I was told that it was so perfect that it could be in a textbook. Although, I know that means nothing now. My best looking embryos at CCRM were chromosomally abnormal so who knows if this one was or not. We'll never know what went wrong and I've accepted that. But, it just makes me sad. It's amazing to think that they'd be turning 4 months old.
11 comments:
You are strong for not caving! I know how hard that is. Ill say littl eprayer for your beautiful embies.
Good job for leaving it today. I am also trying to focus on other things (my beta is Monday). Hope you can get a lot done at work. Is your beta tomorrow then?
Well, the good news is that this is different. You had a hatching one before but this one you KNOW is chromosomally normal. Putting those two facts together, I'm betting on not just a BFP but also twins!
And yes, I totally thought you'd caved.
Nice job on not caving. I think it will make it all the sweeter soon.
it is hard not to think of what could have been with past cycles. soon that will be in the past for good.
I'm SO impressed you haven't caved (yet).
And you know what? The ones you put back now are totally PERFECT... and that's *huge*.
you've got a will of steel if you can wait.
so will you test tomorrow then?
When I saw the 1st part of the title, I almost freaked out. "Here it is..." My heart skipped a beat until I read the whole thing. I thought it was "the post"
I am hoping you have come full circle and then some!
I'll be thinking of you this weekend. Call me!
You've come a long way girlie! Glad you didn't test today and hopefully you can hold off for a little bit longer too ;o)
Glad you didn't cave to the evil pee stick! Stay focused and positive and have faith that this is the one!!! I'm so sorry for all your past loses, but today is a new day, and this is going to be your miracle!!
You know I'm amazed at your willpower. Continuing to give you all the hugs possible, all the while wishing I were with you irl. :-)
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and praying this is IT!!!!
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