Ok, this is NOT fun!!

I am really sick. I thought I had a head cold and would be better in a few days. I was completely wrong. I left work today at 2pm at the urging of my coworker. She was like take a nap and get some rest. So, that is exactly what I did. My coworker is very wise and whenever I don't listen to her, I kick myself. I've learned my lesson. Well, I should have listened yesterday. I got home and took a few benadryl to help me sleep. I napped for about 3 hours and woke up feeling much worse. Now, my entire body aches from head to toe and I feel this creeping into my chest. That's not good. I have a very bad history of asthma and bronchitis. I can barely get out of bed. I don't know how I'm making into work tomorrow, looks like a 4 day weekend for me in bed...

I'm sick and sad.....

Still waiting on results, of course. I bet everyone thought I wasn't keeping track since I didn't post on Monday that it'd been 2 weeks. Trust me, I can tell you at any point in any day how many days it's been in a shot. It is always on my mind.

I have an awful head cold, sore throat, sneezy and dayquil just isn't cutting it. I took nyquil at 930 last night and was up at 5am. It felt like there were razors in my throat.

And, I am sad, very sad. Today, someone from one of my support groups whose become a very good friend received news that her 2nd fresh cycle failed. She's been beyond an amazing support & strength for me. I know that there are just no reasons, no way to justify it and it just happens but it makes me so sad that these things happen. It's something I'll never understand, accept or get.

Phone Calls from CCRM scare the crap out of me!

I was at my desk and heard my phone vibrate. I pick it up, missed call from CCRM. OMG, my heart races and thoughts go crazy. The plane carrying the cells crashed! The results are back and none are normal! I race to listen to the message, karotype results for me are normal, 46 chromosomes, normal female. PHEW! That's a relief.

Dr. Schoolcraft had said, wouldn't that be ironic if all this time your local doctor thought it was your husband and it was you? NO, that would not be ironic. He obviously doesn't know me and my husband very well. But, it's normal and all is good in the world for now.

These 6 weeks are not going as I had planned. I had thought it'd be life as usual. I could have a "normal" life. But, all that I'm finding is since I'm not cycling, not prepping, not doing testing, I find myself physically and emotionally drained. When you are so busy doing all that stuff, you don't have time to be tired, now, I do. And, I'm pooped from the last 2 years of TTTC. So, if anyone feels that I've been absent or anything, I'm really sorry. I'm just struggling with it all right now.

1 Week Down, 5 to go!

Well, it's been a week since the embies were vitrified. I wish I could say the week flew by but it really didn't. Hopefully, it won't take the full 6 weeks to get results back. Someone from one of my chat boards just got their results and it was 5 weeks. I'm hoping for that but just assuming the 6 weeks.

I hope that everyone had a nice weekend. My husband's family was over on Saturday for dinner. I made lasagna and a cake. Yesterday, I went to see Wall E with my mom and my niece. It was a cute movie.

Well, that's about as exciting as it gets. I'm back to work today and it's pouring out. TS Fay is heading in our direction. We shouldn't be getting a direct hit but we are definitely getting some of the bands of rain. We're under a tropical storm warning so that means we should be seeing tropical storm winds in the next 24-36 hours. Of course, I have the MOST understanding employer and they always let us go home when we have dangerous weather. INSERT SARCASM HERE!

She's here.

That'd be my lovely period. I was told a week to 2 weeks. Hey, atleast it's no surprise! This may be the first period in 2 years that I'm not bummed to see as she was obviously coming.

I spoke to the nurse this morning. They said when my next period arrives to give them a call and they would see where things were at with my CGH results. If it's close enough, they'll get me started on the FET protocol. If not, I'll be delayed another month. So, I know everyone keeps asking when I'll do a transfer but I don't know. TRUST ME, I'm asking too! :)

I also asked her to speak to Dr. Schoolcraft about putting me on depot lupron. I was hoping that going on it while we wait would help the endometriosis. He told her if I'm not in pain, there's no need. I'm glad I don't have to go on it but I was hoping it'd reduce the amount. I was grasping at straws. I'm just afraid the endo is why I'm having implantation failure.

I feel like my blog is about to get really really boring again. There's no IVF updates, no exciting developments for atleast a month. But, I'll try to post updates about what's going on. I'm hoping to keep busy over the next 6 weeks in hopes that time will fly by quicker.

This weekend, my IL's are coming over on Saturday for dinner to celebrate hubby's b-day. On Sunday, I may go to a movie with my mom and niece. We'll see.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! I still need to post my Denver pictures as well so look for that...

Can someone help me with a ticker?

I want to add a ticker on my page. I have no clue but I want one that doesn't necessary countdown to a date but says I've been waiting this long for results. I'm clueless. Anyone able to help?

HOLY CRAP! Day 6 Report

I just received confirmation from the lab at CCRM that an additional 3 embryos were vitrified and biopsied!!! 3 more! I have a total of 9. That's more than I could have ever dreamed or imagined. Here is a list of the grades-

5BB - 1
4AA - 2
4AB - 2
4BB - 1
4BC - 1
3BB - 1
2/3 - 1

The first number is an indication of expansion, 5 being the best. They do not keep ones 2 or less. One of mine was 2/3 so they kept it. The next letter is a grade on the cell mass, that's the baby! The next letter is a grade on the future placenta. Of course, A is the best grading. I am BEYOND thrilled. Now, we wait and pray ALOT!

Day 5 Report

I am soooo glad that these other day reports are over. It gets old really quick waiting to get a call from an embryologist on the status of your future ability to have a child.

So, let's get to it. Today, CCRM vitrified and biopsied SIX, yes, that'd be 6 embryos. She said that they are watching all the others as well and she was really hopeful for atleast two of them. Honestly, two more would be great but SIX!!! I'm thrilled with that. It's 50% of the initial 12 fertilized. I was told to only expect 30-40%!

Now, I'm really not sure what all this has to say about anything, I would like to think that meant the lab at home was bad. My first cycle with more mature eggs resulted in worse results. Regardless, moving forward! Now, the dreaded 6 week wait. I may puke the next time I hear someone complain about the two week wait! :P

PLEASE keep those positive thoughts and good vibes coming! You can send them to Denver and New Jersey now! Their cells will be headed to lab in New Jersey here shortly to see if these embryos are genetically normal. Something has to be normal, right?

Bye Bye Denver....

We are home in Florida now. We just got in 5 minutes ago. I really miss DENVER but not the hotel. It's good to be in my home, my bed, my couch, I missed it so much. AND, tomorrow, I will get my kitties who I missed desperately as well.

Tomorrow is my dh's birthday and I really hope that CCRM has a good birthday present to give him. At this point, I'm just praying that something made it to blast, something.

Day 3 Update

I know everyone has been waiting. You have no idea the torture and anxiety going on over here. I was told calls were made at 10am. We didn't get the first day call until 11am so I gave it sometime. Finally, at 1:30pm, I broke down. I called in and they apologized for not calling. HOLY CRAP! I should have called sooner, would have saved me so much anxiety. Ok, ok, ok, enough babble, here's the report...

9 of the 12 embryos are at 8 cells w less than 10% fragmentation
2 are at 7 cells
1 at 5 cells

She said it was very good. It's better than what I've had locally. My first cycle, I had 6 embryos at day 3 so they held me off to day 5. Of course, that was the cycle with 22 mature eggs, 14 fertilized. So, with 2 less fertilized, I have 3 more at 8 cells. I'd say that is an improvement. I'm happy with the report but I will be much more relieved when I hear that I have X number of embryos frozen for testing. So, for today, I am happy that I have 11 embryos in normal range (6-10 cells).

Please send my embabies prayers and good thoughts! direct those thoughts to Denver! :)

Fertilization Report

of the 20 eggs, 16 were mature and 12 fertilized with ICSI. The embryologist was happy and said it was good. Next report will be on Friday.

ER Recap

I thought I'd go ahead and document today for others going to CCRM and just for myself! :) My hubby and I arrived at 8am and went up to the 2nd floor. We waited for someone to come out of the surgery center. A nurse came out and took me back. My hubby waited outside. Her name was Liz and Dana was shadowing her. It was her 2nd day. They have me my gear to change into. I headed to my preop room. It was actually a room and not an area with a curtain like my old clinic. It was nice for the privacy.

Liz and Dana went over a few things, history, basic information, stuff like that. They wrapped my hand in a warm towel to help with the IV. I've NEVER had anyone do that before! She also put some lidocaine on before. It didn't really hurt much at all. Once that was done, they had my hubby come back. The OR nurse, Lynn, came in to introduce herself. The gentleman doing my anethesia came in, wanted to check my history, nice guy! Then, Dr. Gustafson came in. He went over the risks, stuff like that and of course, reminded me I could still back out. I was like really?? how does that work? 20 eggs are going to drop ?? He said, basically, and I promise that it won't be a fun experience. Um, yeah, not backing out, thanks! :) I was excited to hear Dr. G would be doing the ER. I was hoping to meet another one of the doctors and well, he's a UF Grad!

They were ready to take me back, my hubby gave me a kiss and off we went. They gave me some meds to relax me on my way down the hall. I felt it right away. Once I got into the OR, they added the stirups. It was nice not having to change beds, you just scoot down. As soon as I put my legs in, boom, I was out. At my old clinic, they'd prep you and you'd be awake, didn't like that much.

I woke up in recovery to Dana and Liz, very attentive! I had a nice comfy blanket on. They asked how the pain was and gave me some pain meds being it wasn't pretty. The cramping was pretty bad. I continued to wake up and they gave me even more meds for pain. Finally, my hubby came back. I was dying to hear how many but you have to wait on the embryologist. I got into the chair, nice recliner! I got some ginger ale and crackers. While we waited on the embryologist, they removed the IV. finally, the embryologist arrived and said they retrieved 20 eggs, they were expecting 18-22 so 20 was right on target. she also said tom's sperm was fine to do ICSI! We'll get updates on day 1 (tomorrow) to find out how many mature and how many fertilize. Then, on day 3 and 5, we'll get progress updates. On day 6, we'll get an update on how many were vitrified (frozen) and biopsied for testing. It'll take 6 weeks for results. Once that was done, I got changed and wheeled out.

The cramping has been a bit more than I remember so I've been taking it easy all day and drinking a ton. I've had about 60 ounces of gatorade, 24 ounces of water, 16 ounces of boost. That's crazy! I took a nap for a few hours and have been holding onto my heating pad for dear life!

Thank you!!

When I first started this blog, it was really just for me to keep a diary of events. My intention was never for anyone to read it but it's so nice that people care.

I wanted to thank everyone for their support, concern and interest. It is so incredibly nice to receive all the support, it absolutely makes my day, everyday.

Thank you so much!! off to rest some more as I have to be very careful with this OHSS stuff...

20 eggs

that's how many we're retrieved, I'm feeling quite crampy, going to lay down now but I wanted to update everyone...

ER Tomorrow - One More Needle - the IV!

Ok, two if you count the needle they use to aspirate the ovaries but I'm asleep so it doesn't count. While the needles aren't a big deal, I'm really NOT going to miss them.

Well, not really much to say, not feeling better today, feeling worse but I expected that after the HCG shot. I spent most of the day sleeping. I had an awesome dinner. We ordered food from Maggianos, a treat from a friend! I got chicken parm and hubby got ziti w sausage. The food was great. So, that's really all there is to it. I will admit, kinda scared about tomorrow, worried something will go wrong and how I'll feel after. But, it has to happen and hopefully, I will feel better in a few days! We fly home on Saturday and I anticipate it being a horrible flight, I'm not looking forward to leaving my embabies behind...

I really don't feel well...

could that be because my estrogen is over 4,000? yeah, that's right, it's over 4,000. I asked her what it was and she said, do you really want to know? um, maybe not, her response, over 4,000. wonderful. I told her, well, I've been here before. Yes, on IVF #1, it was 3,887 at this point. Um, yeah, that'd be when I was hospitalized for 3 days for OHHS. So, I think you've guessed where I'm leading with this, I'm triggering tonight at 10pm. I have to do labs tomorrow and be at the clinic on tuesday at 8am.

I see on my poll that most people think 15-20 eggs, others think 21-25 eggs. Care to place another vote? I retrieved 26 the first time with a lower estrogen.

Please pray I've got some normal embies in there and that I avoid a nice stay at the Skyridge medical center. It looks very nice and I'm sure the staff is nice but I much much prefer Staybride Suites! :)

Stim Check #3

Estrogen was at 2300ish, I was at the zoo and forgot what she said, oops. But, here's the drop! He's switching me to 75iu of gonal-f and keeping menopur the same. Tomorrow, we will go back again, I'm guessing trigger is tomorrow or Monday night!

And, the tummy issues are looking like they are working out. I am feeling a bit better. I tried eating some cereal and it went over well. Today, I haven't needed a Tums. So, hopefully, it was just related to elevation! We're going to head out to dinner and try giving a real meal a shot! :)

I added a Poll!

Alright, so, I have to say, I'm dying to find out how many eggs CCRM gets out of me. I added a poll to see what everyone else guesses. I went in for US this morning, she said I'm not quite there yet, atleast one more day, maybe 2. I'll have estrogen numbers later today and I will post them.

To help in answering the poll, I'll give some back ground information.

IVF #1 resulted in 26 eggs, I started on 150 follistim, 150 menopur. On day 7, he cut back the meds. On day 4, my e2 was 251, day 7 it was 1548, day 8 was 3,887. I triggered on day 9.

IVF #2 resulted in 15 eggs, I started on 75 follistim, 150 menopur. On day 6, he cut back the meds. On day 4, my e2 was 187, day 6 it was 567, day 8 was 1,419. I triggered on day 9 again.

For this cycle, I have been told that I have 7-10 follies on each side. My estrogen on day 4 was 307 and it was 868 on day 6. Dr. Schoolcraft has NEVER cut back me meds. I started on 150 gonal and 75 menopur per day, it's never changed!

so, what's your guess? I'll have estrogen levels tonight for today...

Pre-op and Freeze, take 2

I had my physical this morning. Heart good, lungs good, bp 122/80, hemoglobin 13.2, I'm all set ! Well, my body is ready, not the eggies. I talked to the NP about my tummy issues. She said to take immodium and no more pepto since it has aspirin in it. I'm now taking Tums. I had some cheerios and so far so good.

At 10am, we headed back for hubby's second go at the freeze. He said it went better, definitely more volume in the cup. NOW, let's hope there's lots and lots of boys in there!

Alright, we're off to the mall. This evening, we're headed to Red Rocks Amphitheatre!