Wonderful, beeding...

This afternoon, around 430pm, dh and I were doing the xmas decorating and I was just having alot of cramping and stretching pains. So, he continued while i saw with feet up. I went to use the restroom and blood. It was just like the bleeding that I had the day before my beta. It has since gotten much better but still there. It is red, pink, dark red. Anyone have experience with this? I'm 6w6d today. We saw the hb this past Wednesday. On Monday, I had an exam and us with my OB. I had a yeast infection so she put me on monistat 3 inserts. Then, on Wed, we had an ultrasound with the RE. I'm thinking the blood could be from all those exams? I read online that irritation to the cervix can do it. But, some personal experiences would be nice...

Beautiful Heartbeat

We had the first official ultrasound this morning with the RE doing the local monitoring. He found the one baby just as the obgyn did. The heart was measuring at 126. The RE measured me at 6w and I should be 6w3d so everything looks good!

I did get some pictures, small ones at that. I don't know how good they'll scan but we'll try this evening. My dh did take one with his cell too so hopefully, I will have something to post.

It looks like I'm gonna have a baby! who knew?!

Presenting Baby's first picture!

Ok, I've been absent. I haven't been feeling well from UTIs to yeast infections. Gotta love that endometrin! I think that's what did it to me. I really could go on bashing this woman at my ob's office but I will spare everyone and save my blood pressure by rehashing it. Instead, we'll go over the happy parts!

Today, I called my ob's office as I'm still having bad burning down there. After much annoyance, I got in. My doctor's nurse was like what's going? I told her about the burning from the supps and she was like wait, are you pregnant? I told her yes and she flipped. She was so happy. So, she was like, want an ultrasound? How could a pregnant person turn down an ultrasound?! So, off to a room, I went. My ob came in, ok, gyn, no longer an ob :( She asked, what is up? I told her well, I'm pregnant. She lost it and came running to give me a hug. It was really nice and honestly, I was shocked. She's been great, did my first lap, and even the biopsy for CCRM. I think by the time I left, she hugged me 5 more times and when she left, she gave me a big smooch on the cheek. She kept saying how excited she was for me! She even told me that if I need a C Section, she will come in to assist!!

She did an ultrasound for me and found one pretty embaby. She claimed she could see the heart flickering. I kinda saw it but it was so quick. It was funny, as she did the ultrasound, she said, honey, I only see one, is that okay? HELL YEAH, it is! But, it was nice that she was being sensitive. So, low and behold, baby's first photo.



Of course, we still have the ultrasound with the RE on Wednesday, hoping for a better zoom and more time to really see the heartbeat!!

Estrogen and Progesterone Update

This morning, I had my estrogen and progesterone rechecked. My progesterone was 9.6 and my estrogen was about 720. So, that means, I stay on the same meds. Bummer! I was hoping to come off of something. I need to continue my 4 patches every other day along with 2 estrace pills for the estrogen supplements. Then, I will continue my progesterone support but I am switching to PIO. I am insane, totally insane, yes, I know. But, I am having such a horrible reaction to the suppositories, I have now tried two different brands. My nurse said that I may start getting weaned after my next check which will be the same day as my ultrasound. I HOPE SO!!!

IVF #3 Recap

I'm trying to clean up and organize my blog better. I'm hoping it will help me keep better track of all my favorite blogs. So, I want to get rid of my IVF #3 summary on the sidebar but don't want to lose the info. Here it is:

6/30 - BCP started - cd3 bw, FSH 5.3, AMH 2.6, LH 2.9, E2 28
7/14 - Lupron and Dexamethasone started
7/19 - Last BCP taken
7/24 - suppression check
7/26 - start stims - 150iu Gonal-F and 75iu Menopur
7/27 - TRAVEL TO DENVER :)
7/29- stim check #1 - e2 307
7/31 - stim check #2 - e2 868
8/2 - stim check #3 - e2 at about 2300 - reduce gonal-f to 75iu, keep menopur in the am at 75iu
8/3 - trigger tonight, e2 over 4000
8/5 - ER
9/11 - Results are in! 5 normals
9/20 - Start BCP
10/7 - AF arrived
10/9 - start estrogen patches - 1 patch every other day, reduce lupron to 5 units
10/15 - E2 is 78, lining is 8mm, YIKES!
10/24 - E2 is 157, Lining is 11mm, start estrace for low estrogen
10/26 - Progesterone is 13.6
10/31 - Embryo Transfer, estrogen 257 and prog 5.6, increased endometrin to 4 and increased estrogen patches to 4
11/9 - beta is 119
11/11 - beta is 276

Not much new to report...

No more betas since it doubled. But, I do go in on Monday to have my estrogen and progesterone checked. I'm praying the levels are up so I can cut back a bit on some of these meds. Currently, I'm on 4 estrogen patches every other day and 2 estrace pills a day. For the progesterone, I am on 4 prometrium suppositories. I was on endometrin but it was causing some issues. I'll spare the details.

My first ultrasound is scheduled for November 26th at 8am. I am praying to God that we see a heartbeat. If we do, we will tell the hubby's family on Thanksgiving. We thought about waiting for Christmas but it just didn't feel right since my parents do know. They watched my cats while we went to Denver so she knew what was going on. We didn't tell dh's family in case it didn't work or so if it did work, it would be a big surprise! I was afraid that something might happen but if it did, we'd be skipping Christmas all together and we'd need to explain anyways.

So, that's my update.

Beta #2 is in!

276! 238 would have been the goal. So, that makes the doubling time 39.55 hours. That's a big relief. I go in on Monday to have estrogen and progesterone levels checked. My ultrasound will be on November 26th. It is the day before Thanksgiving. I can pretend for two more weeks. Good thing I'm at work, otherwise, I'd be sobbing uncontrollable. I really can't believe this is happening.


OK, I'm going to be brave and move my ticker to the top, I did make one but put it at the bottom out of fear. BUT, I am desperately going to try to enjoy this like a normal person.

I feel so sick.

I had my blood drawn for beta #2 this morning. It should be back from the lab anywhere from 11:45am to 2pm. Of course, the local RE will fax to CCRM and then, I have to wait for the call. But, I already talked to my nurse this morning who is AWESOME!!! love her! So, she knows where to call and that I'm anxious.

come on 240!!!

I am another CCRM Success Story! BFP!

FIRST BFP at 8dp5dt at 3pm!



These two were taken this morning.







Ok, I think you get the point. I could continue to upload more, I do have more. And, I'm sure I'll continue to take more as the days pass. Now, I am officially addicted to POAS! I did cave yesterday around 3pm. I was describing some pains to a friend and she was like yeah, um, you are pregnant. That's round ligament pain. She seemed so convinced and I really did feel different so I caved. It's a good thing because around 4:30pm, I had some slight bleeding/spotting. So, I would have caved when I saw that anyways. Fortunately, the bleeding did stop before going to bed. Of course, I discussed this w CCRM, all is fine.

So, CCRM called w my beta this morning and it was 119. I'm pregnant. I did also ask what they put back since we did the genetic testing, it was one male and one female. I'm still in quite a bit of shock. I can't believe this is happening.

I know that some of you know me in real life. Please, I ask you not to tell anyone. I will not be telling family members for quite sometime.

8dp5dt, Did you think I'd cave?!

HA! I bet you thought I did. NOPE TRY AGAIN! The more I thought about it, the more I have just stressed over it. I really was going to test this morning. Let's face it, 13dpo?! But, my husband has to work. It's not so much about not being able to be together if it's positive BUT not having the support if it's negative. No one in our families know we did the transfer part yet except my mother who conveniently left for Europe on Monday, great timing eh?!?

So, the plan is that I will pee in a cup before we leave for the beta on Sunday morning. This way, I won't be crying as they draw the blood being it's my old clinic. Yes, I know they'll get the results anyways but it's the actual lady drawing my blood that I don't want to see me crying if it's negative. She's seen me cry enough. Then, when we get back, I'll take the test and we'll wait for the call. This way, we're prepared! Sorry, I know that it's torture and most people are POASaholics but just not me.

Here it is, 7dp5dt, Did you think I'd cave?

NOPE! I sure didn't. Yeah, Yeah, I know, today is really a reliable day to test. I've always LIVED by that 12 day rule too. But, I know me, if it's negative, I can't function at work and I must work being I'm so far in the hole from being out all the time for this. I'm so nervous, anxious and terrified. In a few days, my life is going to change so drastically one way or another. I'm so afraid that it'll be for the worst. I need to move forward.

Today is also the one year anniversary of my first frozen embryo transfer (FET). I can't believe it's been a year. I remember that day like it was yesterday but it does feel so long ago. At the time, I thought for sure that I was going to get pregnant. Of course! Doesn't everyone get pregnant on their first IVF? I feel so badly about that whole transfer. It all went so wrong starting w the OHSS on the fresh cycle where they were created. I knew it at the time too and tried asking my doctor but even after it failed, he wouldn't commit 100% that my lining was a disaster. We also lost 2 embryos that day. One didn't survive the thaw. I was told that the other was so crappy that they just discarded it. It made for a stressful transfer as well being they also called me an hour before asking I hurry up and get there because of the one that was hatching.

So, a little tribute to the first embabies I had put back in me. You can see the one on the left is hatching. I was told that it was so perfect that it could be in a textbook. Although, I know that means nothing now. My best looking embryos at CCRM were chromosomally abnormal so who knows if this one was or not. We'll never know what went wrong and I've accepted that. But, it just makes me sad. It's amazing to think that they'd be turning 4 months old.

Pseudo Pregnancy

For the past several days, I've had a zillion pregnancy symptoms. BUT, I do realize it's the progesterone talking. Today, I woke up, they're all gone including the major sore boobs and I feel like my period is on its way. Yeah, I know, I've heard a zillion times from girls, I felt just like I was getting my period before I got my BFP. I simply can't think that way. Does anyone have a crystal ball cause this crap is for the birds? really, it is. How am I possibly going to make it through this? I'm going nutz. I guess I'll go back to try and focus on my work but it's just so hard....

Absolutely SCARED TO DEATH!

That would about sum up how I feel today. I'm no idiot, I realize that I'm entering the "testing window." I could have tested today and maybe/maybe not have found out if it worked. I realize that but I just can't do it. I have to work for the next two days. I'm not the type of person who could test and still have hope if I got a BFN even knowing that today could be a bfn and friday could be a bfp. This is why I don't test early.

I'm terrified of this not working. I am going to be a complete disaster if it doesn't. It takes me so long and so much energy to dig myself out of an IVF BFN. I've already done it twice and I'm so afraid that I don't have the energy to do it again and proceed. I know I'll find it and move forward but I just don't want to go through it again. Also, please no comments to stay positive, I'm not being negative, just expressing my anxiety. Thanks.

Safe and Sound in Florida

We're home! ok, so we got home yesterday but I've been too lazy to blog. I thought I'd blog about the day of the transfer...

On Friday morning, we got up and headed to Mimi's Cafe for breakfast at the recommendation of friends who live there. It was delicious. The hubby got pancakes and I think those were the best pancakes that I've ever eaten. After we drove around for a little bit since we still had some time to kill. We arrived at 10:15am as requested. I got my blood drawn to check my estrogen and progesterone levels. As I was getting my blood drawn, Anna from the lab hunted me down to sign paperwork. Once all that was done, we headed to the 2nd floor. After a few minutes or so, Lori greeted us. She was the acupuncturist. She was awesome too! So, hubby and I went back to the room, I got changed into my gown and went over a few things w her in regards to when the last time I did acupuncture was and my sensitive spots. We decided now was the time for valium since acupuncture does freak me a little. She did the first half of the treatment and was sooo incredibly gentle. She wouldn't leave the room if any of the needles were bugging me. She put them in my feet, legs, stomach, ears, head and wrist. The ear ones hurt a tad going in but they seemed to be better in time. She left and came back, rotated the needles and left again.

Once she was done, the nurses came in to start going over what I can and can't do for the next week or so and how to handle bedrest. Can you say strict? geesh! recline the seat on the way back to the hotel, no lifting more than 5 pounds until beta, in bed for 36 hours, basically until we left, etc. It was a list but I won't bore. One of the nurses even said you probably don't remember me but I took care of you in August! I thought that was funny, of course I remember!! They checked my bladder to make sure it was full enough and I'm not going to lie, I had hoped it was too full since I had to go but no such luck!! DARN IT! Dr. G came in went over our embryos and said that they thawed 2 and both did great, one at 98% and the other at 100%. He was happy and said it really doesn't get better than that. He checked the US and said, ok, looks like the bladder is full enough. So, just one rule, no peeing on me! great, way to make a lady who has to pee bad, laugh! :) It was funny. The embrylogist came in with our embryos. They were in like an incubator type device with a monitor on top. She put them on the monitor and there they were. You could clearly see the one on the right was doing something, I figured it was hatching so I asked. Sure enough, Dr. G and the embrylogist said, it's hatching, exactly what we like to see! The embrylogist said they looked very good. She put them in the tube and handed it over to Dr. G. He put them back w me, the embrylogist checked the tube to make sure and we were done! At some point, we were talking w Dr. G and realized that while we were in Gainesville for college, he was there as well for medical school. I thought that was funny.

After the procedure, I was in bed for 15 minutes, then a nurse came in to see if I wanted to use a bed pan. I declined. The nurse reclined the bed so my head was back to help w blood flow. Lori came back for part 2 of the acupuncture. I can't remember where all the needles went this time but one was in between the eyes, that was a new one for me. Once she was done, I had about 10 min left on bedrest. It was a total of one hour after the procedure. Then, I got to use the bathroom finally! The nurse took me down in a wheelchair and we were off back to the hotel! :)