I have to admit, again, I'm having a few more bad days. There's just too much going on with my trip to Denver, father's day, my SIL's wedding, nevermind the zillion things I need to do for Schoolcraft. I had my updated annual this week, biopsy next week and cd 3 bloodwork. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed. I don't have time to relax and breathe.
And, of course, yesterday, my nurse called Tom with some of his results. OF COURSE, he missed the call and we couldn't get back in touch with her. So, we wait AGAIN on more results. Honestly, I'm waiting for the bottom to fall out. I'm sure everyone is thinking, she's so negative. Be positive, yeah, well, it's really quite hard at this point. After two laps, d&c to remove a polyp, bad sperm analysis after bad sperm analysis, two failed IVFs, a cancelled IVF due to OHSS with hospitalization, I just kinda expect the worse at this point. It's all so physically and emotionally exhausting.
I need a week in the caribbean. But, of course, no money for that and no time either as for the past two years, all my vacation time has gone to IVF cycling, surgeries, etc... I am asking, ok, begging the universe, please, please, please, GIVE ME A BREAK! I know things cycle, a period of bad, period of good, um, where's my period of good??? I need some, please....
1 week ago
6 comments:
Oh my gosh! I did it all over a 4 month period and you are trying to cram it into a month. You poor thing. No wonder you aren't feeling happy. Nothing like doing totally intrusive crap for weeks that won't lead to pregnancy that month. I found that depressing myself. Good luck, girl. Mammograms, paps, endometrial biopsies, and bloodtests in a short period of time is truly annoying, painful, and a total downer. I hope it speeds by and you have it behind you soon.
Just take one step at a time. I don't think that you are necesarily being negative. We base our outlooks on our past. I pray that you find a little glimmer of hope to hold on to though. I am hopeful for you. Take care.
HI there - here via nclm.
I know just how you feel. I'm one to expect the worst and did, during 3 failed IVF's, 1 cancelled cycle and finally, the one that worked.
I never believed i'd get there and i'm slowly getting there. I STILL wait for the bottom to fall out of my world - perhaps there are those of us who'll always be like that - but I have to tell you that it CAN happen.
Good luck.
Oh, sweetie, after the universe cuts you your break, can you please, PLEASE send them my way?!
Christi your time is coming....breathe.
It seems so overwhelming I know and most of us have been there too, so know vent anytime you want and we will hear you.
Try to relax girl...sending you lots of hugs.xoxoxoxox
Amen to all of that. You deserve a break--if any one of us wins the lottery we need to dedicate a fund to our cycling sisters for vacations! Hang in there--we'll get there somehow and one day, this will all be a distant (albeit yucky) memory.
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