I am going to be temporarily locking my blog (personal reasons) to allow for only specific users. If you are a reader and want to continue reading, please leave me a comment with your email address and nestie name if you are a nestie! Or, you can page me on the nest!
Thank you for reading!!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
TAG!! I'm it!
My friend Jill("Desperately Seeking Spawn") has tagged me for this entry.
4 Things I did 10 years ago: (1998) -sorry only 3 but they're long enough!
1. EDUCATION: In 1998, I was attending the University of Florida in Gainesville, GO GATORS. My dh and I are HUGE fans. I was finishing up my undergrad classes and took the GMAT for Grad school. I found out that I was accepted late in the year!
2. WORK: I spent the summer of 1998 working. I applied for a nanny position for a couple who had 2 kids, Ben and Kate. They were both doctors and worked alot. They treated me wonderfully! I remember that summer very fondly. I'd arrive at 7am, give them breakfast & take Kate to kindergarten. Then, Ben and I would take a walk and he'd nap. It was lunch time when he'd wake up & we'd go get Kate. We usually spent the afternoons with Kate at swimming or ballet/gymnastics lessons. Unfortunately, it was only a summer job and everyone knew that. Their night babysitter took over days and I would watch them on weekends.
3. RELATIONSHIPS: In '98, I lived with my roomie, Heather. She met someone & wanted to live with him. I missed living with Tom as well. Tom subleased his room but we weren't so lucky with our apt. We all agreed that he would move in with us until we sublet the apartment but she got mad. Tom had to go so we both just moved out and paid double rent. We moved into our first place, a cute little villa! It was our first time living together without roomies.
4 Things I did 5 Years Ago: (2003)- 5 here makes up for the only having 3 above!
1. LOVE: Tom & I were engaged in Sept '02, we decided that we wanted a Sept wedding but couldn't have it planned by 2003 so we opted for Sept '04. We spent sometime in '03 planning our wedding! awwwww...
2. CAREER: I was promoted to Experienced Senior at Ernst & Young. This would be the beginning of the end there, the hours got to be way too much. I left in 2004 shortly before Tom and I got married.
3. FAMILY: My nephew was born! William Luis made his appearance on Halloween! After I missed my niece's birth in October 2000 by 15 minutes, I promised that I would NOT miss his. Of course, my mom called said to get there ASAP. As I walked into the hospital my cell rang & my mom said, congrats auntie! missed it again!!!
4. TRAVEL: Tom and I took what would be the first & last vacation with another couple. We went on a cruise to the Caribbean. She was a coworker & good friend. The cruise was awkward & our friendship ended the day before we got married. A hurricane hit the day of our wedding, we were married that day earlier than planned before the storm hit and the reception was cancelled. My friend & I had a falling out because of the situation, it's a long story but it ended the friendship.
5. FRIENDSHIPS- I was a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding. She was like a sister to me, she lived across the street & we spent EVERY day together until I moved to Florida in 1989.
4 Things I did yesterday:
1. Had brunch at Cheesecake factory with Tom's family.
2. Had lunch at Panera with my mom!
3. Took a nap
4. Watched Extreme Homemakeover Edition and cried. That show gets me everytime!
4 Shows I love to watch:
1. Little People, Big World, they are an amazing family who have made such a wonderful life for themselves
2. The Hills, yes, I watch the Hills on MTV.
3. George Lopez on Nick at Nite, it's on everyday at 10PM, cracks me up, not sure how I missed it the first time it aired.
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8. Their kids, one word, CUTE! I hate how people judge them, they have 8 kids and are doing the best they can!!
4 Things I love to do:
1. Read. I used to hate reading. I don't get to do it as much as I would like but I love stories of inspiration. My favroite is The last lecture by Randy Pausch, it's a MUST read, IMHO. My 2nd favorite is Miracles Happen by Brooke & Jean Ellison, story of Brooke's amazing life, she was hit by a car is paralyzed from the neck down on a ventilator. I know them from childhood, I was friends with Brooke's older sister, Kysten. Her accident happened shortly after my family moved and I will NEVER forget receiving a letter from Kysten about it.
2. Spending time w my kitties, they are so lovey.
3. Talk to my family and friends. They are the best thing ever.
4. Traveling with my dh, who better to travel with but my best friend??
This was a lot of fun!! I really enjoyed thinking back 10 and 5 years, couldn't you tell by how much I wrote???
I tag (if you see this post and want to play): "I would diet for that" - Kristen, "Trial and Tribulations of a Newborn Baby" - Sam, AND "A Sibling for Jefferson" - Tobi
4 Things I did 10 years ago: (1998) -sorry only 3 but they're long enough!
1. EDUCATION: In 1998, I was attending the University of Florida in Gainesville, GO GATORS. My dh and I are HUGE fans. I was finishing up my undergrad classes and took the GMAT for Grad school. I found out that I was accepted late in the year!
2. WORK: I spent the summer of 1998 working. I applied for a nanny position for a couple who had 2 kids, Ben and Kate. They were both doctors and worked alot. They treated me wonderfully! I remember that summer very fondly. I'd arrive at 7am, give them breakfast & take Kate to kindergarten. Then, Ben and I would take a walk and he'd nap. It was lunch time when he'd wake up & we'd go get Kate. We usually spent the afternoons with Kate at swimming or ballet/gymnastics lessons. Unfortunately, it was only a summer job and everyone knew that. Their night babysitter took over days and I would watch them on weekends.
3. RELATIONSHIPS: In '98, I lived with my roomie, Heather. She met someone & wanted to live with him. I missed living with Tom as well. Tom subleased his room but we weren't so lucky with our apt. We all agreed that he would move in with us until we sublet the apartment but she got mad. Tom had to go so we both just moved out and paid double rent. We moved into our first place, a cute little villa! It was our first time living together without roomies.
4 Things I did 5 Years Ago: (2003)- 5 here makes up for the only having 3 above!
1. LOVE: Tom & I were engaged in Sept '02, we decided that we wanted a Sept wedding but couldn't have it planned by 2003 so we opted for Sept '04. We spent sometime in '03 planning our wedding! awwwww...
2. CAREER: I was promoted to Experienced Senior at Ernst & Young. This would be the beginning of the end there, the hours got to be way too much. I left in 2004 shortly before Tom and I got married.
3. FAMILY: My nephew was born! William Luis made his appearance on Halloween! After I missed my niece's birth in October 2000 by 15 minutes, I promised that I would NOT miss his. Of course, my mom called said to get there ASAP. As I walked into the hospital my cell rang & my mom said, congrats auntie! missed it again!!!
4. TRAVEL: Tom and I took what would be the first & last vacation with another couple. We went on a cruise to the Caribbean. She was a coworker & good friend. The cruise was awkward & our friendship ended the day before we got married. A hurricane hit the day of our wedding, we were married that day earlier than planned before the storm hit and the reception was cancelled. My friend & I had a falling out because of the situation, it's a long story but it ended the friendship.
5. FRIENDSHIPS- I was a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding. She was like a sister to me, she lived across the street & we spent EVERY day together until I moved to Florida in 1989.
4 Things I did yesterday:
1. Had brunch at Cheesecake factory with Tom's family.
2. Had lunch at Panera with my mom!
3. Took a nap
4. Watched Extreme Homemakeover Edition and cried. That show gets me everytime!
4 Shows I love to watch:
1. Little People, Big World, they are an amazing family who have made such a wonderful life for themselves
2. The Hills, yes, I watch the Hills on MTV.
3. George Lopez on Nick at Nite, it's on everyday at 10PM, cracks me up, not sure how I missed it the first time it aired.
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8. Their kids, one word, CUTE! I hate how people judge them, they have 8 kids and are doing the best they can!!
4 Things I love to do:
1. Read. I used to hate reading. I don't get to do it as much as I would like but I love stories of inspiration. My favroite is The last lecture by Randy Pausch, it's a MUST read, IMHO. My 2nd favorite is Miracles Happen by Brooke & Jean Ellison, story of Brooke's amazing life, she was hit by a car is paralyzed from the neck down on a ventilator. I know them from childhood, I was friends with Brooke's older sister, Kysten. Her accident happened shortly after my family moved and I will NEVER forget receiving a letter from Kysten about it.
2. Spending time w my kitties, they are so lovey.
3. Talk to my family and friends. They are the best thing ever.
4. Traveling with my dh, who better to travel with but my best friend??
This was a lot of fun!! I really enjoyed thinking back 10 and 5 years, couldn't you tell by how much I wrote???
I tag (if you see this post and want to play): "I would diet for that" - Kristen, "Trial and Tribulations of a Newborn Baby" - Sam, AND "A Sibling for Jefferson" - Tobi
Saturday, May 10, 2008
A little goes a LONG way....
So, as promised... As I said in earlier posts, some people have done somethings that have been so sweet. I really want to blog about it because it was just so nice. Please ignore that the pictures are HUGE, my technical skills are hmmmm, not so good. I'll have to work on that.
So, two people sent me cards after my 2nd fresh IVF cycle failed. The first was from someone I met online (the nest) that I'd been talking to for awhile. To be honest, I'm not sure how we started talking. I think it was a similarity in our diagnosis. Ironically, since then, we've discovered a ton more similarities. The second came from someone I met on a private MSN board but she is also on the nest. She was doing her first IVF cycle when I did my second. So, we were cycle buddies. Being that on my FET, first cycle with a transfer, it seemed like almost every cycle buddy got pregnant, I was VERY hesitant to start chatting with another. But, I did and just figured I wouldn't get buddy buddy with anyone else going forward. By the way, I have become close with one other person since then, it's hard not to!!
The first card on the cover says with sympathy, my good friend. On the inside, it says I wish I had the right words to say that would help you through this sad time. But these are the words in my heart, I'm sorry, I care, I'm here for you. There is also a personal message but I want to keep that private.
The second card on the cover says I wish I could make things happen for you the way you want them to. I know how much a child would mean to you. I'm still hoping and believing for you... and keeping you in my heart. Again, there's a personal message but I want to keep that private as well.
Who knew that they made cards like the second one? It actually says I know how much a child would mean. I don't know if these ladies know how much it meant to receive those cards. And, they definitely don't know that I keep them both on my nightstand tabel (there are two other things I keep on there as well) to remind me daily that not only are there others out there struggling like me but (both these ladies have atleast one failed fresh cycle) that there are good people out there who cared so much about me to make the effor to send me such thoughtful cards!!
So, two people sent me cards after my 2nd fresh IVF cycle failed. The first was from someone I met online (the nest) that I'd been talking to for awhile. To be honest, I'm not sure how we started talking. I think it was a similarity in our diagnosis. Ironically, since then, we've discovered a ton more similarities. The second came from someone I met on a private MSN board but she is also on the nest. She was doing her first IVF cycle when I did my second. So, we were cycle buddies. Being that on my FET, first cycle with a transfer, it seemed like almost every cycle buddy got pregnant, I was VERY hesitant to start chatting with another. But, I did and just figured I wouldn't get buddy buddy with anyone else going forward. By the way, I have become close with one other person since then, it's hard not to!!
The first card on the cover says with sympathy, my good friend. On the inside, it says I wish I had the right words to say that would help you through this sad time. But these are the words in my heart, I'm sorry, I care, I'm here for you. There is also a personal message but I want to keep that private.
The second card on the cover says I wish I could make things happen for you the way you want them to. I know how much a child would mean to you. I'm still hoping and believing for you... and keeping you in my heart. Again, there's a personal message but I want to keep that private as well.
Who knew that they made cards like the second one? It actually says I know how much a child would mean. I don't know if these ladies know how much it meant to receive those cards. And, they definitely don't know that I keep them both on my nightstand tabel (there are two other things I keep on there as well) to remind me daily that not only are there others out there struggling like me but (both these ladies have atleast one failed fresh cycle) that there are good people out there who cared so much about me to make the effor to send me such thoughtful cards!!
Friday, May 9, 2008
WOW! Thank you!
Thank you to everyone who reads my blog !!!
I have this fear about all that are reading/visiting my blog. I guess because I've seen people get comments left that were, well, not nice. I understand that infertility can be controversial, everyone is different and I understand that everyone makes their own choices. I'm just hoping that I won't get comments that will be frustrating or rude, this journey is frustrating enough as it is.
So, I'm going to take the next few blogs to write about some things that people have done for me that I'm super thankful for, they may or may not realize it but it meant so much. Let's face it, this whole waiting on test results thing is BORING! I can't write much about it, we're waiting, that bout sums it up and it bores me nevermind you. So, that's what is coming next... :) It'll help to kill some time until the consult, that'll be interesting to write/read about!!
I have this fear about all that are reading/visiting my blog. I guess because I've seen people get comments left that were, well, not nice. I understand that infertility can be controversial, everyone is different and I understand that everyone makes their own choices. I'm just hoping that I won't get comments that will be frustrating or rude, this journey is frustrating enough as it is.
So, I'm going to take the next few blogs to write about some things that people have done for me that I'm super thankful for, they may or may not realize it but it meant so much. Let's face it, this whole waiting on test results thing is BORING! I can't write much about it, we're waiting, that bout sums it up and it bores me nevermind you. So, that's what is coming next... :) It'll help to kill some time until the consult, that'll be interesting to write/read about!!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Tough Times
Times are tough right now for everyone. Gas is outrageous, food is going up, people are loosing jobs, etc... My husband and I have been fortunate, we still have our jobs. And, I work in the homebuilding industry so I am very lucky!!! But, no bonus for me, no raise either so we've had to make some changes. But, we are not putting off our TTC efforts, that is the decision that we have made. Everyone is different but this is what we want to do.
And, unfortunately, we have hit a bump in the road on the journey, okay, maybe it's a hill, a mountain? We need to take our efforts up a notch. I'm not sure if we will cycle in Denver but it is a possiblity. If T's test results are bad, we will have to do some sort of PGD testing to test the embryo's genetic makeup. This will need to be done in Denver. My RE has already told me that he won't do it and if it needs to be done, I want to go to Denver. They do a kind of testing called CGH testing which tests all of the chromosomes while PGD tests 9 of the 23. Some people would not go this far and just move to adoption but again, this is the decision that we have made. Please respect that...
But, seriously, I do greatly appreciate it. I have gotten the best support from some amazing people! I say it all the time, I can't believe the amazing support I've received! I may start having to blog on that....
And, unfortunately, we have hit a bump in the road on the journey, okay, maybe it's a hill, a mountain? We need to take our efforts up a notch. I'm not sure if we will cycle in Denver but it is a possiblity. If T's test results are bad, we will have to do some sort of PGD testing to test the embryo's genetic makeup. This will need to be done in Denver. My RE has already told me that he won't do it and if it needs to be done, I want to go to Denver. They do a kind of testing called CGH testing which tests all of the chromosomes while PGD tests 9 of the 23. Some people would not go this far and just move to adoption but again, this is the decision that we have made. Please respect that...
But, seriously, I do greatly appreciate it. I have gotten the best support from some amazing people! I say it all the time, I can't believe the amazing support I've received! I may start having to blog on that....
Thursday, May 1, 2008
What a week!
I really don't have much to say infertility/IVF wise but I just feel the need to blog. This has been a horrible week. Work has been crazy and not like busy but annoying. Lately, there have been so many issues thanks to the wonderful housing market. I'm so glad it is Thursday but I feel like it should be Friday.
I'm exhausted and ready for the weekend. I plan to relax and do some stuff around the house. I have felt the need to do some spring cleaning for weeks now but I haven't had the time. I hope that my dh is in the mood to do some spring cleaning because I could certainly use some help. I'd just like to get rid of stuff that is going unused. I've listed a few things on craiglist and if that doesn't work, I guess we'll try Ebay! Otherwise, off to goodwill it goes!!!
Alright, well, like I said, there really isn't much to say. My consult isn't for two weeks and we still haven't gotten the results of the testing back yet. It'll be 3 weeks next week so maybe we'll give them a call or live in denial a little bit longer...
ok, five things I'm thankful for...
1-It's Thursday and the day is almost over!
2-My niece and nephew, they spent the weekend with us last weekend and we had tons of fun!
3-the gorgeous weather we're having right now in Florida, although, we could use some rain!
4-having a job - while it's driving me crazy, I still have one and it's a regular paycheck
5-one of my coworkers, she is great to get advice from, she's very wise!
I'm exhausted and ready for the weekend. I plan to relax and do some stuff around the house. I have felt the need to do some spring cleaning for weeks now but I haven't had the time. I hope that my dh is in the mood to do some spring cleaning because I could certainly use some help. I'd just like to get rid of stuff that is going unused. I've listed a few things on craiglist and if that doesn't work, I guess we'll try Ebay! Otherwise, off to goodwill it goes!!!
Alright, well, like I said, there really isn't much to say. My consult isn't for two weeks and we still haven't gotten the results of the testing back yet. It'll be 3 weeks next week so maybe we'll give them a call or live in denial a little bit longer...
ok, five things I'm thankful for...
1-It's Thursday and the day is almost over!
2-My niece and nephew, they spent the weekend with us last weekend and we had tons of fun!
3-the gorgeous weather we're having right now in Florida, although, we could use some rain!
4-having a job - while it's driving me crazy, I still have one and it's a regular paycheck
5-one of my coworkers, she is great to get advice from, she's very wise!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
May 15th
This is the day of my consult with the best clinic in the US. I am scheduled for a telephone consult with Dr. Schoolcraft in Denver at CCRM. There are stories after stories from girls who went there on ivfconnections.com. I've read so many stories. It's funny, I was talking to my friend, Stephanie, today and telling her how it was going. She was telling me stories about some of her friends and wouldn't you know? One of her friends went to Denver, singleton. Then, an online friend, Michele, told me her friend's cousin went there, twins. I actually got put in touch with her tonight. Her name was Hope - ironic huh? funny, I just put that together that her name was Hope. Anyways, she gave me her phone number to me, a random stranger. She was so excited to tell me how wonderful they are, she went on and on about them, definitely put me at ease. And, she did do several cycles at her local RE first as well.
I've been reading up on CCRM and came across a very interesting study that they did regarding the use of depot lupron in women with endometriosis. Basically, they give you depot lupron after the retrieval for a few months to completely suppress you. In this study, the women who used it had a 80% pregnancy rate, the ones who didn't, 50%! That's a BIG difference. For anyone reading, I do realize that this is very controversial and new. Some doctors don't believe in it. And, I can completely respect that. BUT, I am open to the possibilities of anything else that could be wrong. You have to be open to everything even if it sounds crazy. Think about it this way, 25 years ago, the first set of twins were born in the US. Anyone wanna bet that some woman mentioned IVF to her doctor and they said it was NEW and CONTROVERSIAL?? Let's face it, IVF is still new and very controversial today. And, until it's 100% effective, we have to be open to making it better for those who use it in the future. Without those woman 25 years ago trying, I wouldn't have the chances that I have today.
So, I guess my journey to baby (our original blog name) may get a little more complicated. I'm absolutely ready for it, something has to change and I refuse to sit back and not do anything about it. But, it's given me HOPE and FAITH.
ok, totally been slacking on my 5 things that I'm thankful for...
1. have I mentioned my therapist yet? yeah, Karyn is awesome!!! can't you tell how much better I'm doing since seeing her?
2. Blogging. it really helps to document and share all this whether anyone reads or not
3. Random strangers who are NICE, like Hope today, she took an hour of her time tonight to share her experience at CCRM, did I mention she has twins? and a 3 year old? an hour in her day is big!
4. internet/email - it puts me in touch with amazing people that I consider my friends now. I have entered this journey and somewhere along made these new friends. I have friends in Kentucky, Ohio, Virginia, California, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Michigan and one an hour south of me in Florida that I never would have met otherwise who offer me the most amazing support, I couldn't get through the day without them
5. IVF - yeah, ick, it's such a pain, the shots, the ultrasounds, the poking, the prodding, but really, if it was soooo awful, why would we do it over and over again?? cause it's a good thing that gives so many of us a chance at having a child.
I've been reading up on CCRM and came across a very interesting study that they did regarding the use of depot lupron in women with endometriosis. Basically, they give you depot lupron after the retrieval for a few months to completely suppress you. In this study, the women who used it had a 80% pregnancy rate, the ones who didn't, 50%! That's a BIG difference. For anyone reading, I do realize that this is very controversial and new. Some doctors don't believe in it. And, I can completely respect that. BUT, I am open to the possibilities of anything else that could be wrong. You have to be open to everything even if it sounds crazy. Think about it this way, 25 years ago, the first set of twins were born in the US. Anyone wanna bet that some woman mentioned IVF to her doctor and they said it was NEW and CONTROVERSIAL?? Let's face it, IVF is still new and very controversial today. And, until it's 100% effective, we have to be open to making it better for those who use it in the future. Without those woman 25 years ago trying, I wouldn't have the chances that I have today.
So, I guess my journey to baby (our original blog name) may get a little more complicated. I'm absolutely ready for it, something has to change and I refuse to sit back and not do anything about it. But, it's given me HOPE and FAITH.
ok, totally been slacking on my 5 things that I'm thankful for...
1. have I mentioned my therapist yet? yeah, Karyn is awesome!!! can't you tell how much better I'm doing since seeing her?
2. Blogging. it really helps to document and share all this whether anyone reads or not
3. Random strangers who are NICE, like Hope today, she took an hour of her time tonight to share her experience at CCRM, did I mention she has twins? and a 3 year old? an hour in her day is big!
4. internet/email - it puts me in touch with amazing people that I consider my friends now. I have entered this journey and somewhere along made these new friends. I have friends in Kentucky, Ohio, Virginia, California, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Michigan and one an hour south of me in Florida that I never would have met otherwise who offer me the most amazing support, I couldn't get through the day without them
5. IVF - yeah, ick, it's such a pain, the shots, the ultrasounds, the poking, the prodding, but really, if it was soooo awful, why would we do it over and over again?? cause it's a good thing that gives so many of us a chance at having a child.
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