One Year Ago...

What a difference a year makes! It's funny, I see this alot, posts on people's blogs discussing that one year ago, they were infertile and today they are holding their baby or are pregnant. Well, my one year ago post isn't quite that. Don't I wish it was!!

So, one year ago today, that's right, a year ago, geesh, I was going under the knife. (ok, a little dramatic, but isn't dramatic more interesting??) I had my first lap, d&c to remove the big ole polyp and hysteroscopy. Of course, you realize that this would fix everything! HA! The polyp was the problem and why I wasn't getting pregnant, LOL, if only we knew what we knew today. I was so terrified, really, I was. My mom and T went with me to the medical center and all I could say was I don't want to do this, over and over again. I had NEVER had an IV before nevermind surgery and really the last shot I had was probably in the 8th grade! Of course, they got the IV in, no problem. And, it wasn't so bad. I figured that I'd be fine after that bc you are under for surgery.

Well, guess again, my doctor hadn't even arrived and I vasovagaled. how does one faint while laying in bed?? I remember, it was like floating, kinda what you would imagine an outer body experience to be like. I was sweating and fading. I remember hearing all the monitors beeping fast, I assume it was my heart rate and the nurses saying, she's vagovasaling. Then, my doctor arrives, the poor poor doctor. Luckily, she is a very compassionate doctor. I wish they all were. I apologized over and over and she said to me, please don't worry, it's stressful, I know that. They wheeled me into surgery and while I was going under, she held my hand and told me that everything would be okay just as my own mother would have done if she could be there. I'd also like to note that my obgyn no longer delivers babies.

When I woke up, all was said and done. The polyp was gone and much bigger than expected and mild endo was discovered. Of course, once I get pregnant, the endo will go away!! Being that I was having surgery, I had asked my obgyn if T could get a SA done. I wanted to make sure that everything was okay. It wouldn't be until two weeks later when I had my post op that we would find out. Of course, it was bad. I remember her saying that we did it wrong. She's never seen it that bad so we must have done it wrong. How do you do that wrong? I didn't understand that. Of course, we didn't do it wrong, she just never saw it that bad.

Well, I went off on a complete tangent. My whole point was that a year ago, I was terrified of having a lap, d&c, and hysteroscopy. Since then, I've done two fresh cycles of IVF, a FET, and had another one of those laps! One of these days, I will have to figure out how many shots I've done. In terms of being afraid of medical procedures, I've overcome quite a few of them in this past year. I used to cry when getting blood drawn. You get over that real quick when it's done 5 times in one week! It's definitely made me a stronger person. So, I guess that's what I take from this post. I'm a stronger person... I'm hoping that seeing that and typing it will make me believe it.